A Divine Lent #31: All I did was attempt to speak, and then I quickly changed my mind

A daily reflection during Lent on Dante's The Divine Comedy.

Dante becomes more timid in Canto 25 of Purgatory.  In Canto 24, Dante began almost boasting of his ability to walk and talk with Forese without inhibiting conversation or progress.  In today's canto, Dante doubts himself again.  Maybe it is because Forese was his friend, and he is much less comfortable asking questions of his guides Virgil and Statius.  Maybe it is because he and Forese were walking side-by-side on an open path.  The setting has changed.

so did we make our entrance through the gap

and, separated by that narrow space,

in single file, we started climbing stairs.

Some paths induce solitude and discourage conversation.  Walking on pine needles on a narrow path in a lush forest makes talking seem inappropriate.  When the trail opens up onto a broad meadow, it's time to regroup and talk. The narrow path has the muting effect on Dante.

...my longing to inquire

first bold, then weak; all I did was attempt

to speak, and then I quickly changed my mind.

Virgil notices Dante's struggle and urges him to speak.  Dante has a great question.  It is astounding that he has waited this long to ask it.  He wanted to know how the shades could appear so gaunt when they should have no need of food.  Generalizing the questions, how do the shades see, hear, eat, or feel pain without a corporeal body?  He could have asked that question about any of the levels of hell or the other levels of purgatory.  For some reason, this obvious question has been delayed until now and even then only after coaxing.  I too can go through a day choosing not to ask a good question.  The desire to learn and know should overcome the fear of embarrassment, of admitting ignorance.

Following a prelude by Virgil, Statius gives a thorough explanation of the theory of the soul, consistent with philosophical and church teachings in Dante's time.  Dante takes liberty (through Statius) in giving souls after death the ability to manipulate the air around them to enable the five senses.  They are literally putting on airs.  The shade is the air around the soul.  While these aerial bodies are useful for Dante's fiction, they are a bit telling about my own shell.  As Statius describes,

The shade takes on the form of our desire,

it changes with the feelings we may have.

I am reminded of Plato's shadow in the cave.  It is common to show only the conforming shade rather than letting the true form be visible.

The canto ends with the travelers emerging onto the final terrace of purgatory, the Terrace of the Lustful.  They are forced once again to walk single file with flames on their right and a treacherous cliff edge on their left.  Dante's reaction to this narrow path is similar to his overall attitude.

And I saw spirits walking in the flames;

I watched them, but I also watched my steps,

caught between fear and curiosity.

Curiosity killed the cat.  Why does this proverb exist?  It perpetuates this tension between fear and curiosity.  Dante knows his journey is one of grace; he has been protected throughout; yet still he fears.

This Lent, may curiosity lead us in our own paths of grace overcoming our own fears of vulnerability.